He had lived through the torment of hell. Hell wasn’t fire; it was darkness, desolation, despair. Hell was a void where hope could not live.

But he had somehow escaped that black pit. But he wasn’t free yet. They were hunting for him and he had to do as McBane had asked. For the next few days, he had to lie low, he had to hide, no matter the cost and then he would be on his way to America and they would never find him.

Elle was getting married. How was this possible? Wasn’t she still an impossible and headstrong child?

Sean knew he must not allow himself to think of her or any of his family. But the damned memories he had worked so hard to repress had been awaken by McBane’s news. He didn’t want to recall that life! He must not recall that life of warmth and peace. He was no longer a brother and a son. And he was certainly not that man who had protected her and chastised her, time and again. Sean O’Neill was dead.

In his place was someone half-human, someone so scarred, and more than just physically, that he had no heart inside his chest. And he did not want one, either.

He could not go back. If he did, they would hunt him down.

All he had to do was shut the damned memories out, as he had done for so many years. And then he would step onto that ship and start away to a land of opportunity—a land where he’d be truly free. Soon, he would be able to look at the sun, without the bright light hurting his eyes. Soon, he would be able to walk the decks without his muscles screaming in protest—and without fear of discovery. He would never have to hide in the dark again. He would never be surrounded by cold stone walls and a stone ceiling so low he could not stand upright. He would never sleep on rough stone floors with only the rags on his body for warmth, for comfort. He would never have to eat water laced with potato skins and bread crawling with maggots. He was going to America and he would be free.

And Elle could marry her Englishman.

All he had to do was close his mind, now, before he made a terrible mistake.

He must not go back to Adare!

 

 

 

Eleanor On Getting Married

 

Sean is back!

He’s alive! I knew he couldn’t be dead--I knew it deep in my heart, never mind what everyone said! He swore he’d come back for me, and he did! But he has changed and I can hardly recognize him….he’s so thin, and he’s scarred, and he can hardly speak clearly, sometimes I can’t understand him! But the worst part is his eyes. His eyes aren’t the same—all the light and happiness is gone. They’re dark and flat, as if he no longer has hopes, or dreams….

Something terrible has happened to him. He won’t talk about the two years he spent in prison—I’m afraid to know what really happened. But whatever happened, I can help him, I know I can, because I want the old Sean back. I will help him!

There’s more. We used to touch and hug without a care. Now, he won’t let me touch him. When I try, he flinches as if burned. All I want to do is hold him hard and tell him everything will be all right, even though I’m so afraid. But he won’t let me embrace him. And then I see the way he looks at me, when he thinks I’m not aware of it. He’s never looked at me that way before—with hot smoldering eyes--when I would dream and pray that he would. He looks at me with hunger and I know that finally, he sees me as a woman….

I have to think clearly now. Sean is in danger. If the authorities catch him, he’ll hang. He won’t let me go to the family—he’s afraid Adare will be forfeit the Crown if the earl or Ty is implicated. He won’t even let me tell Devlin that he’s back and in trouble. And that means I’m the only one who can help him now. And I am going to help him—I’ll help him escape to America, and damn it, I am going with him. He said he’s going alone, but he is not leaving me behind again!

In the meantime, he has to hide. I have a brilliant idea—he can hide in my rooms. No one will ever think to look for him there.

But what, dear Lord, am I going to do about Peter? I am supposed to be getting married in two days…

 

© 2008 Brenda Joyce Dreams Unlimited, Inc.
website designed & maintained by The Mystic Castle